Combined Sunday Lesson

The essence of the lesson was on building the kind of relationship with your children that will make an environment of trust and comfort. We want them coming to us with their questions and concerns regarding the law of chastity. If we are not the ones informing them, someone else will be and the first introduction they get to sex is the one that sticks.

We need to build our children's self esteem. The better their self esteem, the less likely they will be to try titillating or thrill seeking activities.

The thing children want most is love and attention. If they don't receive that love and attention at home, they will get it somewhere else.

Ways of protecting our children:

1. PRAYER - ask for protection, for blindness from Satan's visual attacks, for deafness against his verbal attacks. Our children are being exposed earlier and earlier to moral issues at school and their innocence is being taken without them even being in a bad situation. They hear this talk in the hallways, in the locker rooms, and even in the classrooms.

2. Attend the temple. As we attend the temple, our families are blessed with added protection.

3. Reading scriptures. Our first counselor told us that unless he has read the scriptures that day, he has the rule that he cannot turn on the television or computer. I liked this rule so much, that we've incorporated it into our family. It makes sure that we get in our morning family reading. President Benson said, "Drink from the divine fountain [the scriptures and words of the prophets] and fill your lives with positive sources of power." ("The Law of Chastity," in Brigham Young University 1987-88 Devotional and Fireside Speeches, 53-54)

4. Regular family home evening. Take the opportunity to talk with your children about the situations that may present themselves to them when you are not around to protect them. If they already have a course of actions for protection, they will be less likely to fall victim and commit a sin.

5. Family dinner. Studies have shown that a family who eats dinner together nightly have children that do better in school and stay safer from worldly temptations such as drugs and sex.

6. Talk with your children. Review "For The Strength Of Youth" with your children even before they reach the age of 12. Each child's needs will be different, but it has become increasingly apparent that the need for the "Birds and Bees" conversation be conducted at a much younger age. Talk openly about it. Use correct verbage and don't put silly names to the bodies organs and operations. If you are not embarrassed by the conversation, your children won't be embarrassed by it. Talk to them about pornography and explain how damaging to their spirit it is. The more open you are about the subjects that come up in their lives, the more open they will be with you as they face each of them.

7. Be extremely mindful of what your children and even you are watching on television. You no longer need to wait until late night for excessively violent and sex oriented programs are shown. Guard your home against them by turning these programs off.

8. Move the computer into an open area where anyone can see what is being done on it.

9. Do not allow TVs, computers or stereos inside bedrooms. This equipment is best kept where all can view and hear the content. Be aware of the games they are playing on game systems and on computers. Also, limit the cell phone use. With today's technology, Satan's message is being sent to our children from all directions. Cell phones should be for emergency use, not as a tool for one child to send notes and pictures to another. There is no reason for this.

10. Be aware of what your children are reading. The availability of violent and sexual material is in our school libraries even as young as 5th and 6th grade. The written material can be just as permanent an imprint on them as visual material.

11. Get to know the friends of your children. Talk with your children about the importance of surrounding themselves with good influences. Involve their friends in your family activities so they become aware of the standards your hold and expect. Make your home the one that their friends gravitate to. If your home isn't filled with the spirit of love, your children and their friends will gravitate towards another home and you will have little chance to protect their actions.

12. Avoid sleepovers. There are no good things that happen after dark. Shortly after Scott and I were married, our Stake President was talking during Sacrament Meeting and he said, "If you knew what I know, you wouldn't ever let your kids spend the night at anyone's home. Even members."

We need to provide the firm foundation for our children as they enter this increasingly wicked world. Build the kind of relationship with each of your children where they will feel comfortable coming and talking to you about the issues in their lives. And don't forget that what you do as their parent is what they will see and think is right. Be the kind of example that Christ would want. Set rules for the house that you follow also.